This is why being in Guatemala tomorrow morning until the fifteenth of March will fit nicely. They don't capitalize the y in "yo" unless it's at the beginning of a sentence, there's also this strange metaphysic behind the language. The use of reflexive verbs and the subjunctive conjugations in everyday speech appear to create underlying assumptions about the world that that are not inherent in English. This will be elaborated on later. There's an expectation to be thoroughly frazzled and humiliated by the end my first week there. i must admit that i crave it, a kind of effacement and near self destruction, then countered with some placid domesticity by the time school starts on the 11th of the next month.While it is easier to do this when you have a place in which you can feel in your element, one creative writing goal is to be able to describe vividly the experience of living in the body -- admittedly, it's not the body-- much like one of my favorite poets Francis Ponge was capable of doing. It was often achieved in the work of Antonin Artaud as well. A poetry that is emprically and ontologically precise about the goings on of the body, not as separate-from-the-sphere-of-emotions (that is obviously misnomic), but given enough space to recast the perception of things as something well ahead of the emotions.

It's kind of intimate and alienating at the same time. Also, it seems make to one's metaphors better since most metaphors are framed in terms that preclude physical experience (the sky is falling, the moon is smiling, daffodils dancing in the breeze). But who has the time to take it to the extreme?

honestly there is just a hankering to get my old way of being back. Before I almost died one time and before I became so politically active. Some space will suffice for now.