Waiting for Catastrophes

Last Tuesday and Thursday mornings, a wonderful 25 minute bike ride was had, to and from a primary school that calls itself La Cuchilla, to teach english. The roads are dangerous and the bikes are in bad shape. Wearing a helmet is resisted. Fear of violent crash against the pavement is only had when alone in my room. More experience is needed to learn to be even more alert and safe which ironically will help attenuate or exterminate the fear of death.

Down to my last physical Quetzal, as the Lawrence Bank has discovered that my debit card became compromised. Almost two weeks were spent attempting to withdraw cash from about 6 machines around the city of Xela. Before making the phone call, my host mother, Alejandra thought she might of overheard on the news that a major problem has occured with many banks in Kansas. Something about them being out of money -- we still have the FDIC right?
It should be noted that my person could not and did not confirm the story. No one else has confirmed and there is no time to look it up. Amidst the US-led world economic crisis, the worst has been anticipated, though not prepared for.

It now turns out that it was a problem with Visa.

Even if money had been posessed these past couple weeks, not much more would have been bought. No desire exists to go out. Tourist traps abound, and most of the fellow volunteers at the school seem to reveal little enthusiasm for one on one conversations. Is it possible that one on one conversations actually make most people more timid than in large groups? After several attempts at conversation, which should not be had anyway given the need to practice my tortured spanish, most of the volunteers worked with betray an inpeneterable gloominess and tepidity (lack of intellectual curiosity).

This is not a judgement on them (although a couple of them are quite cold), because most of them undoubtedly suffer from what will be referred to here as the ¨fulltime student syndrome¨. They have very little time to enjoy actual academic learning. After an informal studying of this syndrome in friends and acqaintences a hypothesis occured to the the question of why so many mistake my mere average intelligence for above average intelligence: it´s because at the end of most days my embodied mind is not as fatigued as theirs. Having slightly less than a full two years of actual formal university training as allowed more time to enjoy the intellectual discoveries made and discuss them

After studying and teaching, the days are spent in my bedroom trudging trough ¨cien años de soledad¨, 495 pages in over three weeks. The richness of the vocabulary is amazing and maddening. Looking at the english translation by Gregory Rabassa, it is obvious that he grew lazy at times omitting whole sentences or replacing words to get the idea of the function of an object across to the english reader rather than also allow its aesthetic properties to carry over.

When breaks are taken, capricious and sometimes half hearted attempts at writing are made. Reading poetry in english is strictly reserved for the toilet. Attempts at conversation with Sedi (Alejandra) and Estuardo are made, but seldom successful; there was a night in which an explanation of the health care system in the US and the proposed Single Payer plan was given. Another night where comprehension of their religion was gained. Comprehension of the sentences which formed a theological view point taken in the evangelical church they attend (not that religion as a practice will ever make sense to me).

Overall the lesson learned is that my body should have been armed with a vocabulary used by young parents. Everything revolves around little David Estuardo, also affectionately called, ¨Pappy¨ and ¨Nini¨. El Nahual, contrary to what is indicated by their website, is currently functioning ONLY as a school (english, spanish, art and cooking) with a garden and a construction site for a new building. It is hard to practice Spanish with kids who are either there to learn from you or ride your shoulders. Nothing to talk about.

And fuck the weather 365 days and 20 Nahuals over!! Though it must be qualified that the wind´s impact on the accumulation of dust in conflict with our bearings is something to behold.

It would be nice to meet one more guatemalteca who could at least humor me with some plàtica (conversation). There are two females reappearing in my fantasies and they are both great friends in Lawrence. Knowing that deep bonds with native Spanish speakers are impossible to make in the three weeks that are left, Lawrence is finally missed.

Inside my head is much more comfortable. It has managed to house a lot of dreams in Spanish. But thinking in it requires much more.

Failure. A big headache is forming and it could not be dehydration. Weeks have passed since yellow has been pissed. ¿A donde se va desde aqui?

Coming soon: either a story from one of those previously surrendered titles, or an article about a progressive model of education witnessed at a school. Pedogogy in general as gotten into the gears, possibly replacing butterflies on my list of infinite would be hobbies.