Slow and deliberate

More slavery to time is what keeps the alienation lit. Or rather slavery to the questioning of the perception of time (how much is available). Actually, the parinoia that has been there for what seems like forever is more culpable than anything else.

That is to say that no one else should be blamed.

Some of the fellow volunteers are extremely kind and generous in the information they offer and ask for. One in particular, Andrew from California, who at the beginning introduced himself as Andrès, has the most endearing disposition. If it were not for my more extreme circumstances, more big sibling instincts would have been felt for him. Instead, it´s the other way around. After being mugged at knife-point in the most dangerous spot in the town he expressed very sincere sympathy for me, as if my body and my idea of myself had been violated. After comparing host families, where it was indicated that Estuardo and Alejandra treated me merely as a guest than a member of the family, Andrew again apologized with sympathy as if my body and my idea of myself had been violated.

It´s not what he says. It´s how he says it. He just started Spanish and it´s been impressive how continuously he speaks it. More than anyone else, he will keep speaking it with non native spanish speakers...slowly and deliberately. Chillingly reminiscent of Miguel, my friend in Guatemala City with fragile health ...was also reminded of the way a childhood friend, Travis Stiffler, who taught me half of the dirty US english words, performed in street fights. Travis always appeared to be hitting like a slug if not an outright typical girl, but he actually packed a powerful punch. To my knowledge, he never lost a fight and not many would fuck with him.

Yes. Slowly and deliberately--also like my best friend and giant of a human being, Mauro Nobre. Mauro has a towering intellect and it is maddening to have debates with him due in large measure to the slow pace in which he speaks (that it is probably due in part that he didn´t pick up english until 17, past the peak of the brain´s plasticity, does not make it more acceptable).

Andrew walks, talks and dances very slowly without mistakes. His gentle disposition makes it seem as if he would not do much, but he was the most enthusiastic dancer in the whole bunch. His body willed itself around to salsa way more than mine. On his last night in Xela, at a table of twelve volunteers in a restaraunt/apartment house (amazing dutch styled curry!) he and Claire, this tall beatiful spunky nursing student from central Minnesota did some turns. It was strange to see them together, she and her long limbs and thespian constitution and he, shorter, low toned in his puffy beard, faded jeans that are baggy at the ankles and in streaky eyeglasses, moving like a patient with a terminal illness--and yet with such grace. While he did make some mistakes amid the attemp of familiarizing himself with her significantly longer reach, he obviously knows how to dance. And so gentle.

Even though there is only one week left here, Andres will be missed.